December

Another year is passing, I used to like decembers but now, uhm, i dunno. This is the time of year where people like to make amends to their lives. Things have changed so much from Dec 2010 to Dec 2011. I wonder where Dec 2012 will take me...

I've been asking myself the same question for a while now... if I'm not bothered about something, does it mean it isn't actually that important to me or is it I have matured to look pass these little things? But I've always thought that you only have strong emotions for things or people who are important to you and you really care about. So is it i now have a better temper to not be bothered or i dont actually care as much i thought i did? I guess only time can tell me....

以前D人和事..總是在我的腦海.. 不知道為什麼.. 可能因為我gum大個女, 只有兩個好好的朋友從來沒有放棄過我.. 永遠都在我身邊.. 但現在一切都改變..

記得...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xthLlCrHYU

誰還記得　是誰先說永遠的愛我 以前的一句話　是我們以後的傷口
過了太久　沒人記得當初那些溫柔 我和你手牽手　說要一起走到最後

Trust...

There are many types of trust out there. But the two that is bugging me right now is trust between friendship and trust between a relationship.

'Friends come and go', and i've learnt this concept ages ago. It might sound really negative but to be honest, this has actually made me cherish even more my friends who have stayed! Trust between friends.. I dont really know where to start. Yeah i do trust my friends.. but i dont trust them either. Ok let me rephrase this, I dont trust all of them. And thats simply because not every friend is important and not everyone affects me the same way. When it involves friends who are important to me, i do get upset and frustrated, and a lot of the times, i turn to blogging. Its like the only place where i can just express how i feel. When i trust someone, i expect a to be trusted too. Not because i feel if they blab my business i can blab theirs too. But because i dont think you can truly trust someone without feeling your important to them and you can be trusted too! It's when I find out that i cant be trusted by someone i trust, thats what upsets me!
And thats what makes me think of the phrase that one of my closest friend has always told me. 'Trust nobody but yourself'

Next. Trust between someone who you have affection for. People tend to like the idea of trusting the person they like, instead of actually trusting them. I used to be the girl who would say 'i trust the guy, i just dont trust the other girls' but thinking back, at the time when i said it, it was actually the guy i didnt trust. Its when i experienced that its actually possible to believe what a guy says without questioning him, thats when i realised that trust is actually something that comes naturally through time, it cant be forced. Whilst your getting to know each other, spending more time with this person, thats when trust develops. But to me, its also true to say, once its gone, its gone and if i ever do say i trust this person again, it would have taken a long time and it can go again over something minor. So the best way is to leave. When you lose trust the first time, you should leave. Ofc its easier said than done and you have to make sure that you actually dont trust this person anymore, not just simply because he made up some silly and minor excuse/lie to you, cus c'mon, everyone lies. But when im in situations where im sure i dont trust nor believe him anymore, then if i was logical, i would walk away, and if anyone else asks me for advice, i would say the same cus trust takes a really long and frustrating time to build back, and sometimes, you may never build it back. But like i said, thats what i would do if i was logical and most of the time when im in confusing situations, i am not logical! so i do hope there are exceptions out there and it will be worth in the end. I guess it just depends whether you really see a future with this person, and if you can feel their side of effort too.

Today has been a really meh day for me. But i guess but you can’t have a rainbow, without a little bit of rain!

OOTD : 9th July

Quick OOTD

Went out to fancypants on Saturday night, was a crap night but was good to see the girls.
I really couldn't be bothered to dress up and it was cold outside so didn't want to show my legs.

Topshop lace crop top
Miss Selfridge wet look leggins
Dune leopard print heels (present from my friends on my bday)

Estee Lauder

Around 2 months ago I brought two Estee Lauder products to use; Idealist- pore minimizing skin refinisher, and Advanced Night Repair. I was recommended these two products when i told them i wanted something to help with my pores and some of the scarring left from spots when i was young. I brought them both in the 50ml size because debenhams was doing a 10% off at the time so both costed £85-90 in total i think.


Estee Lauder Idealist- pore minimizing skin refinisher - I had high hopes in this because i really wanted something which could help minimize my pores. After using it pretty much everyday for 2 months.. i have to say i have a love/hate relationship with this. I didn't like it at first because i felt it did nothing to my pores. It made my skin really smooth, but apart from that, i couldn't notice anything. After a few weeks of using this i started noticing that when i apply make up on top of this, my foundation glides on so well and my make up lasts so much longer, especially during night outs (i have oily skin and i have never used a face primer which has worked). So i have carried on using this on a daily basis and even on days when i dont use foundation and just apply this, iv noticed i havnt had to use blotting sheets as much. I still havn't seen a noticable difference in my pores. Will i buy this product again? I'm not sure. This is quite expensive and i feel it is only good for oil conrol, so i may try out some more face primers first.

Estee Lauder Advanced Night Repair - The sales at the counter was so eager for me to buy this and said this was no.1 and will definately help me with old scars or discolouration. When i brought it i really didn't have much hope in this cus i dont really believe there are products which can help scarring. After 2 months of using though, i can honestly say my scarring hasnt all gone but it has definately faded! I don't even feel the need to use liquid foundation anymore and only usually use light powder now, on days when i feel i need more coverage i only use a few dots of concealer and im done. When i run out of this, i will definately repurchase it.

Moulin Rouge Theme @ Birdcage

So on tuesday me and a few friends went up to manchester for the vtown party~ it was moulin rouge theme.

Candy & me

Candy, Lilian, Karmen, Vivian & Me

All of us outside the club at the end

Face - Mac select cover up (concealer)
- Mac Studio Fix Powder Plus Foundation
- Nars Laguna Bronzer

Eyes - Urban Decay primer potion (i love this stuff!)
- Bourjois Smoky Eyes Trio Eyeshadow in Gris Dandy
- Fake Lashes
- Elf Eyebrow kit in Ash
- Matte black eyeshadow for lower lashline

Lips - Vaseline
- Rimmel Moisture Renew Lipstick in nude delight

Cardigan - Topshop
Corset & Hold ups - Primark
Shorts - River Island

The next day we went to wasabi in manchester~ was only £1 a plate! so yummyyy
We also went to wongwongs bakery to buy jimmy a cake cus it was his bday the night before!

Before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.

I really despise people who talk about others when they are not any better. Ok i think 9 out of 10 people has been through this stage with growing up. I can say i once had that ugly side of me too. I'm not saying i'm perfect now or everything i do and say are correct cus i know i'm not, but i'll never let myself fall back into that dark side because thats one of the things i really hated about myself. I'm still learning how to become a better person. By avoiding and not mentiong your own wrong definately does not mean your right. Your just in denial. People talk all the time, they want to know everything about everyone. That doesn't necessarily mean they're bad people. It's called being nosy or in a more blunt way '8 por/8 gung'. But it's the ones who use someone elses weakness and wrong to make themselves feel bigger and 'right' that makes me think theyre so small and weak deep down.

Does it really make you feel happy when you see the pain in someone else's eyes and all you do is rub salt in their wounds? Does it really make you feel less guilty when you point the wrong of others when you did the exact same? Does talking about someone else's dark side really cover your own? If so i pity you. I really do. It's sad to know people can abuse someone else's actions and words just to hide their own selfishness.

Like i've mentioned in this blog previously, what goes around really does come around because Karma really is a bitch. It will come back to you one day. I've learnt this from past experience.

I believe every human being was born with a kind heart. It's what road you take that helps you maintain it. Don't let the wrong thoughts take over yourself.

If you want to judge, judge yourself first and be a better person.

What you did to me, boy i can't forget...

Didn't really do much today, just woke up, watched some drama and cooked dinner with karman.. made curry laksa which was soo spicy but yummy too hehe.. Just gonna do an update on what i've been up to cus i cant be bothered to start my work..

Only been out three times so far this year :) i feel good hehe! really wanted to go to london kpop cny and got the night off work too- but last minute the guy couldnt cover for me so i had to work :(

Kream CNY party, Lil & Me

Sheff CNY~ Jess, Me, Lil & Anneka

Like usual, the sheffield party was really good.. There were loadsa people so the dancefloor got really packed but the vip upstairs was nice which is where we stayed mainly. Drinks were so cheap, £1 a shot! Probably cus so many of us from bham went up, it made the night even better.
The next day we went yumcha but we were all still pretty drunk so felt like crap. Jess, Lil and Me decided the stay the evening to eat at Yama sushi which loadsa people have said is really nice. Gavin took us around and we went to meadowhall to shop but we was all so tired so ended up in starbucks for like 2 hours! lol.

Look how yummy the sushi looks?! was lush :)


Sakura Traffic Light party - a coach of us girls went down + ling's bf

It was nice to have the girls to go out all together (thanks to jess for organising) we ordered a round of 30 flavoured shots! Me and Carmen took forever choosing which colour to have cus we wanted the lychee one! So we picked a clearish looking one and guess what?! it turned out to be wasabi!! ewww! was so digusting! So later on the night we ordered some more but chose lychee, white choc and apple shots. Sounds lush doesn't it? but it all turned out pretty nasty too :(


On sunday I went up to chesire oaks with karman, her mum & brother and his friend. Was a nice day out :) We then went to manchester and stopped at wongwong bakery (my fav!) and taiwu for dinner. I got asked if i was 16 by an 18 year old boy today.. what?! :( Need to look more my age from now on cus to me being 20ish is a girls best age!

I love love love the mango pudding!

I originally wanted to buy this scarf in the classic brown colour but karman said this one was nicer so i whatsapped a pic to my mum and she also said the white one is nicer. Me being so undecisive couldnt choose for agesss so ended up taking my mum and karmans advice and got the white one. I still dunno which one i like more cus i wanted the brown one for ages.. but i guess i do have a brown one already but its just shorter..

Anyway it's 10pm already so gonna try do some work or maybe i'll watch the new tvb kek jap 'only you' first.. hmmm.. oh yeah! i've recently finished the taiwanese drama called 'down with love' and omg! its a really good drama! ahh Jerry is soo in love with Ella in it.. heard Autumn's Concerto is really good too so i might watch that next!

I'll be hypotizes when looked into your eyes...

Had a nice chilling day today, woke up at 4pm and met up with Lilian and Jess, went shopping in bullring.. had dinner at Ken Hos.. and the usual gossip sessions! Talked about which cny party to go to.. what we been up to.. friends.. boys.. ect..! Was nice catching up cus havnt seen them in a while.. Had dessert at cafe soya after which was yummyyy


Bumped into a friend today and i was called ginger :( so gonna dye my hair asap!

Sometimes i do wonder, do you actually remember what you used to say me? or i should say do you even remember me at all? cus i remember what you used to say to me and how you used to treat me.. i will admit, i do miss it. it was so natural talking to you before but it's weird now.. i dunno.. i guess some people just come and go in your life and thats just the way it is..

愛是什麼?

又時覺得「愛」真係好兒戲,
當想完全擁有某人的時候,
有誰真的了解對方的感受,
因為從來都沒有愛過或太愛對方?
還是一直最愛的是自己?
當有人說我愛你的時候,
有否想過日後嚴重程度會是怎樣,
「我愛你」是你給對方的承諾,
這句話根本不可以輕易說出口,
很鄙視那些將喜歡以為是愛的人,
因為兩者是不同等級


一時的喜歡,誰會確保這是一生的愛?


說真的,我好難過....
只希望快D過 ~

Nothing left to say...

Feels soo good to finally have the internet at the flat! I have lived without the internet for 5 whole months!! (apart from on my phone/the odd dongle top up or when i was back at home)

Been a bit of a mixed emotion day today :| I havn't been so mad in ages and i never thought i would over you again.. but i did. What does that mean? I don't know, but i hate being mad and you always find a way to make me so angry so well done! It was over such a minor thing but whatever, not gonna go into it cus i'm not gonna let you mess up my day again like this.

I dunno if it's just me but i hate promises! If your gonna do something for someone then just do it, no need to say it and give them unneccessary hope. You don't need to brag to anyone else what you're gonna do either! And when you really insist on a promise then frigging stick to it! Because when you make a promise and you don't do it, it makes me so angry and i feel so stupid cus tears just keep rolling down my face!! I don't want that. So yeah, i hate promises.

And i still think about you, did you know that?

Cant sleep so i'm gonna do this stupid quiz.

1. What was the highlight of your week? London on tues

2. Whose car were you in last? Parents

3. When is the next time you will kiss someone? Don’t know and don't want to know

4. What color shirt are you wearing? Black

5. How long is your hair? Mid-length gwa..

6. Are you good looking? Yeh right

7. Last movie you watched? The Notebook

8. Who were you with? Myself

9. Last thing you ate? Cereal

10. Last thing you drank? Water

11. When was the last time you had your heart broken? How do you know when its broken? I just know when my heart aches..

12. Who came over last? -

13. Are you happy right now? I dunno.. feel blank..

14. What did you say last? Goodnight to my brother

15. Where is your phone? Next to me

16. What color are your eyes? Brown

17. Are you left-handed? Right handed

18. Spell your name without vowels: Jnn Ng

19. Do you have any pets? No

20. Favorite Vacation? HK but i do want to go LA when i turn 21

21. What do you dislike currently? How i can't sleep

22. What are you listening to? Jolin Tsai - 無言以對 Nothing left to say

23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be? Lasting happiness

24. Who is your favorite person ? Don't have one but two - my mum and dad

25. Who makes you happiest? The one who makes me most sad

26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Eating i think..

27. When is your birthday? 30th May

28. Who has the same phone as you? Many many people

29. Last time you went swimming in a pool? Too long ago

30. Do you read your horoscope? Yeah in magazines

31. Where was the last place you bought something ? Abercrombie & Fitch

32. How do you feel about your hair right now? Meh, needs cutting and re-dying

33. Do you bite your nails? No

34. Do you have any expensive jewellery? Yeah

35. Do you have any expensive jeweller? Whats the difference? :S

36. Myspace or facebook? Facebook

37. How fast have you driven a car? Like 90mph cus my instructor kept telling me not be scared and put my foot down on the motorway o_O

38. Have you ever smoked? -

39. What was or is your favorite subject in school? Hmm maths i think

40. Do you have Verizon? No

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for? The least expected ones..

42. Do you have any hidden talents? Nope

43. Favorite Song? Ai Mei - Rainie Yang.. I always go back to it..

44. Do you like to sing at all? Only if i'm drunk at kbars haha

45. Dream Job? No ideaa

46. Where does most of your family live? HK

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? One younger brother

48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled? Can be

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up? Im hungry and had mcds breakie brought to me :)

50. Do you drink? Yeh even though i can't handle it :S

51. Know any other languages? Yeh

52. Ever write a coded message? lol yeh

53. Have you ever been IN a wedding ? Not part of a wedding :S but i've been to a wedding..

54. Do you have any children? No- way too young!

55. Did you take a nap today? Yeh lol

56. Who has the same birthday as you? Noone who i know.. but many friends bday is the day before/after mine

57. Ever met anyone famous before? Yeh a few

58. Do you want to be famous one day? Don't think so

59. Any Pet Peeves? YES!

60. Are you multitasking right now? Not really..

61. Do you like Britney Spears? I used to really like her

62. What is your least favorite chore? I don't really do any chores at home.. I guess tidying my room? And at the flat then definately the washing!

63. Last place you drove your car? Don't have a car

64. Ever been out of the country? Yeh

65. Where were you born? HK

66. Could you handle being in the military? Definately no!

67. What is your average cell phone bill? £45 a month

68. Who are you thinking about right now? :(

69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard? I can't remember.. probably a couple of days ago

70. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Too many..

71. Are your toes always painted? Yehh i hate them not painted

72. How many piercings do you have? 2 on each ear

73. What are you doing today? Meant to be going to town in 5 hours but i dunno if ill wake up cus i'm still not tired!

74. Have you ever been gambling? Yeahh

75. When is the last time you updated your page? What page?

76. Do you like rollercoasters? Yes and no lol

77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world? Yehhh

78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? Not really a favourite

79. Last thing you cooked? Xmas lunch at the Orion :)

80. How’s the weather? Gloomy

81. Do you e-mail? Rarely

82. What’s the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? haha when i had my iphone3 i threw it on concrete floor cus i was angry and it smashed so bad that i couldnt even sync my contacts to itunes :(

83. Last time you were sick? A while ago.. i rarely throw up anymore, just feel like crap

84. What states have you lived in? Don’t live in any state..

85. Do you wish you could move? Yehh wana get away!

86. Do you take all the QuizPox.com quizzes? No..

87. What is your dream car? Don't really know..

88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have? Haha did i really just read this qu.. i seem to only want the ones i can't have.. only once have i had the patience and been lucky enough to have what i thought i couldnt have..

89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be? Anywhere but here..

90. Are you happy with your life? I know i am a lot luckier than many out there so i should be yeah..

"sleep til you’re hungry, eat till you’re sleepy" well im still not sleepy so shall i eat? sighs...

Happy New Year!

Its been so long since I've blogged, but I'm gonna try keep this as updated as I can in 2011 :)

So much happened in 2010- both good and bad, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I did things which i said i was never gonna do and said things which i thought i'd never say. I guess my lesson is never say never. Met a lot of new people this year and got back in touch with a few old friends who i will make more effort to keep in touch with in 2011. After saying many many times i was gonna go to a Manchester party, i finally did for the first time at the Vtown Freshers Party, been up to a few more parties in manc since. Manc is always so eventful, can't really decide if it's good or bad but its eventful. Next place to party is London baby.


One of my scariest night out in 2010 was probably vtown xmas party at Bijou in manchester. I have never seen a girl friend's face been covered with so much blood before :| Candy was really drunk and the dirt claimed she randomly 'ran into the door herself'. I still think yeah right but she doesn't remember what happened so :S Poor candyb had cut on her nose and lip next day :( and i have never met such dirt before in my life- actually would have slapped his fugly face if he left the room any later!


KM (my flatmate) and Me at Kream Halloween



University of Bham x Aston Joint Christmas Ball
Was a really good evening, everyone looked so elegant and smart. This year was the most entertaining Christmas Ball we've had. We played games from Bingo to Beer drinking, but i think what made is most special is the amount of people who turned up including some of my really close friends :)

Fecx 2009-2010

One thing i've learnt in 2010 is - What goes around really does come around. It may even be someone else who will treat you the same way you did to someone before. Either way it will come back to you. So never do wrong to anyone. Because Karma really is a bitch.

I havnt really given myself any new years resolutions; just gonna work harder in uni, be less lazy and create more good memories in 2011. If I could have one wish right now, i would hope 2011 brings my family and friends lasting happiness. I've noticed when something postive happens, something bad always follows. 2010 has been a fairly unlucky year for some of my closest and a lot of sad things happened, thinking about it is actually making me tear up so lets change the subject.

This is how I entered 2011! The queue was massive so we ended up doing the countdown outside sence! We pre drank beforehand at my apartment so we was all pretty tipsy at this point hehe. We also went to the new cc karaoke in china town after, its really pretty inside!



"Life is too short, laugh when you can. Apologize when you should. and let go of what you can't change"