Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Havnt blogged in ages ~ just cba and nothing really on my mind to blog...

Its funny how someone whose meant to know you well, ends up being someone who misunderstands you the most... ARGH
How can one person be so selfish... its them who done wrong... but instead of thinking oh i wanna be right now... they go and think your doing something worst... is that how they feel better about themselves? does that make them feel 'oh i didnt do as wrong as u, what i did was just minor'... oh yeah cus that really makes you a better person... that isnt what you call caring for someone.. you dont do that to someone you so call 'love'... YOU FOOL!
Whenever they have done something that i dont see as 'right'.. i always give myself time to try and think in their position... i always try and figure out why they act that way... i try and understand them... i try and think in their perspective... and so far i have been able to push things aside and let go... but this time... how dare you accuse me of something i havnt done.. instead of correcting YOUR WRONG.. you go and accuse me... seriously... why do i even bother thinking in their perspective... why do i even bother trying to understand them...

Friday, 16 March 2012

Note to self.

Words are always gonna be words unless someone comes and shows a meaning to it.

Friday, 17 February 2012


我以為你特別為我做的事, 其實你為誰都可以做...

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

A late valentines note...

Nobody understands why I fell for you. Thats because others don't know how i fell for you. What makes you even more special to me is that being with you was so unexpected, all these feelings for you are all so unexpected, yet it grew so naturally. Nobody sees how you say goodnight before you sleep, or the goodmorning baby every morning you wake up. All the phone calls and facetimes throughout the day. Nobody knows how you look deep into my eyes when you say I love you baby. The warmth I get from your arms tight around me when we sleep, with me snuggling against your chest listening to your heartbeat and falling for you over and over again. I don't take these things for granted because I know people change and feelings fade. I can't change that fact but what I can do is really appreciate everytime we are together and all the things you do for me. It really is the little things that matters the most. I really do appreciate your existence in my life because I know 幸福不是必然.

I know I'm not the easiest to handle when I go into a strop. And it aggrevates me even more when you push problems aside and let me be angry on my own. But I guess different people have different ways to deal with situations. A relationship needs mutual respect and compromise. And I have faith that in time you will bring the best out of me. ♥

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Married or not... you should read this. MARRIAGE

I read this on the internet and want to share it with you all... it's such a touching story which we should all learn from before we regret it one day...

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Saturday, 14 January 2012

No more exams for 5 months yayayay!

Yay finally free from all my exams and assignments! So on monday i had two exams.. accounts and managing people and performance. Accounts was harder than the past papers i've previously done, but im just hoping for a pass. Went back to Birmingham for dinner, we couldnt decide for agees where to eat but we ended up with miller & carter. Was so full! Havnt had a proper 3 course dinner in ages, i usually only go through 2 course then im baodoabao! Km went home after so we went to watch Goon~ its actually not bad, quite funny. Was a nice evening seeing my fav people after my exams ♥

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Happy 2012!

So Christmas didn't really do much apart from eat with the family.. and Boxing day went out to party. I didn't like christmas this year, 2010 xmas was better, at least more cheery and happy. But New Years was nice with some sweet people with me =)

2012 ~ I have a feeling this is going to be a really good year because I have someone special and some really sweet friends in my life ♥ And it has been so far so good. Went london on 3rd Jan which was sweeet hehe.. iv already seen deeekhead for 5 days this year and its only the 8th Jan!

Super happy cus had my first korean finally ^_^

No specific new year resolutions this year, maybe because i already know what i have to do.. Iv learnt that time is really precious, don't sit and dwell on the past, let it go if it's not right! We live for the future, not the past. Memories can be nice and as much as i don't like to admit it, it is the only thing that doesnt change when everything else does, which is why it is so hard to let go of sometimes. But we can only learn from memories, we can't go back to them. Instead of wanting to go back in time, you can only try to make the times you do have.. better.

2012: 快樂, 朗, 對誠, 寬容, . 對於困境與磨難, 微笑面對.